Rekindle
by Aeneid
Summary: AU. He could not understand why, as a child, he had always looked at the Moon with longing. Rated M for suggestive references.


Hello again! This is my newest fic for the fandom. I haven't been updating recently because real life calls, but I've managed to write a one shot at least.

There's a bit of cultural context in this fic, and I've tried to do what I can to fit in everything in the story... I just hope it's good enough.

I've taken so much liberties with the interpretation too, so yeah, there's a huge chance of them being out of character... ^^;;

Lastly, it's been a while I wrote a slightly serious fic, so I hope it's still good enough. orz

Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama. It belongs to Sorachi Hideaki.

* * *

_**Rekindle**_

* * *

He could not understand why, as a child, he had always looked at the moon with longing.

His older sister had always told him that when he was a child, for as long as she could remember, he would always ask her when the full moon would be during the month. Okita Mitsu would then consult their calendar, and on the night when the full moon was set to appear, he would position himself by the raised platforms of their home in _Bushu_, his short legs dangling on the edge as he sat,and would stare at the full moon all night, captivated by its beauty, until he fell asleep. In the morning, when he woke up, he would find a blanket wrapped around him, while Mitsu was by his side, fast asleep.

Okita Souji thought he would forget this… 'fascination' he had towards the Earth's satellite, and it annoyed him that somehow, he _knew_ just when the full moon would appear during that day of the month, and, like clockwork, he would stare at it from his room, complete with the sliding doors open so he could see it in its entirety, until he would fall asleep.

There was no explanation to it, this obsession of his, and Septembers and Octobers of every year always drove him insane.

The moon-viewing parties were distracting enough as he celebrated with the whole police force with the usual drinking and eating, but when everyone was down for the count all thanks to the alcohol consumed, the captain of the first division of the Shinsengumi would somehow find himself wide awake and staring at the object of his fascination.

And as always, every year, without fail, he would find himself in tears as he looked at the bright moon, its rays softly bathing the citizens of Edo, who were also celebrating its beauty.

It was not as if he thought of crying as a weakness; the commander of the Shinsengumi was prone to tears whenever he got too emotional, but for him, without fail, to get into this kind of emotional state every year…

… There was something horrible wrong with him.

In all honesty, it was scaring him.

* * *

It had taken some convincing from himself, but with reluctance, he had managed to drag himself to the shrine nearest to their compound; in this case, it happened to be _Kiyomizu-dera _[1], a rather old temple that the Tokugawa clan favored. On his day off, right after putting on his casual clothing and tying up his sandy blond hair in a high ponytail, he went on his way to the temple grounds' area where fortune tellers had step up their table and chairs. As soon as he sat down in one of the empty chairs across an old man, who looked like he was in his sixties and wore the usual garb of a citizen of Kyoto, which consisted of the _uwagi_ and _hakama_, the man did not bother looking up from the book he was reading. Just when he considered leaving, the fortune teller's first few words to him startled him.

"You're finally here… Your Imperial Majesty."

Souji did not know whether the old man was mocking him for his well-known title as the Prince of the Sadists, for he was well know to be quite sadistic towards the new recruits of their police force who slacked off on their training, or if he was joking around. "… Huh?" he said out loud.

"Your Imperial Majesty… that is, to say… technically, I am not worthy to address a great man such as yourself, for I am a mere fortune teller, a common folk, but…" the old man chuckled. "You are but a mere commoner yourself in that form." Upon seeing the confused look on the younger man's face, the old man gave out a toothless grin.

"Have you not realized it yet?"

The man was speaking in riddles, but it was fine; he was patient enough not to let his temper get the best of him… though he was losing his cool with every second.

"Realized what?" if the old man was going to talk in riddles, he might as well just leave and go back to sleep.

He did not indulge in time-wasting during his day-off unless it involved being lazy and sleeping the whole day.

"All signs point to it. Your fascination for the beauty that is in the sky… the unexplained longing..." the old man smiled once more as soon as he saw the man who sat across from him trying his best not to look shocked. "The full moon… seeing it has always brought upon so many unanswered questions in you, especially since—"

"Get to the point." He barked harshly, startling the old man, who had jumped on his seat. "_Please_." He added, trying to calm down the erratic beating of his heart.

_… __Why can't I shake off this nervousness…?_

The fortune teller stroked his silver beard as he continued on. "There's only one reason why you feel melancholic when you look at the moon." He nodded at the direction of the younger man. "You're longing for Princess Kaguya."

Souji frowned at this. Was this old man pulling his leg? "… That's the princess from the folktale. What does it have to do with me?"

"Why, you're Emperor Mikado's reincarnation, of course."

* * *

He found it ridiculous.

Until now, five years after he had his fortune told, he found it ridiculous.

Everything changed, however, when he was on the verge of dying, nearly just six years after that revelation.

As he laid on his back on this fateful night where he had managed to slaughter the Emperor's men in the name of the Shogun, bleeding to death from the wounds that his enemies had inflicted on him, and coughing out blood from what seemed to be the lung disease he had been suffering from from two years back, maybe, just maybe…

_It _must_ be true._

Years after that fortune telling incident, he still found himself staring at the full moon every month, though he had managed to suppress the emotional side of his that came out during the moon viewing months, the one who wept whenever the moon was bright and high up in the sky. He remembered the folktale clearly: how he, if he truly was the reincarnation of Emperor Mikado, had fallen in love with the Princess of the Moon, Kaguya, and had asked her to marry him. She rejected his proposal instantly, though she chose to stay in contact. No matter how many times he would ask her, she would simply say 'no'.

When he had heard that she was going back to her homeland, the Capital of the Moon, he had done what he could to not let her be taken away… but it had been in vain.

She had gone back to her home… and she had left him with mere parting gifts.

Despite the gifts that consisted of a letter and an elixir of life, he knew he could not bear to live forever without seeing her.

He ordered the letter and the elixir of life to be burned at the summit of the Great Mountain [2], and had spent the rest of his days longing for her.

Even on his death bed, his only wish was to see her for one last time.

Souji laughed bitterly, knowing that he was slowly going insane during his final hours.

Imagine that, he, the supposed Emperor Mikado, longing for some celestial maiden who was not of this mortal realm.

_But maybe… it really is true._

Just the mere thought of some celestial princess he had never even met filled him with sadness, which, he thought, was probably because of Emperor Mikado's memories within him.

There was no other reason behind it.

_I… wasn't able to see her again… even in this lifetime._

The moon was shining brightly as he laid on the ground soiled with blood and many others, surrounded by corpses of men he had slaughtered, and he wondered, as he stared at the lunar beauty in the sky, if this was how he was going to meet his end.

Within him, he too wondered if this was a sign that the Moon Princess was looking at him from the Moon Capital, watching… and hopefully waiting for him.

His mortal life had been short, a mere quarter of a century [3], yet he knew wholeheartedly that he had no regrets.

He had seen the full moon during every month of every year that passed by, and that was enough.

He too had fulfilled his mission as a loyal samurai to his lord.

He felt content warm him, despite being on the verge of death. As he looked at the full month weakly, his eyes barely staying open, he knew would be the last full moon he would be able to see in this lifetime.

Just like the blood-soaked cherry blossoms that were scattered all over the battlefield that reeked of death, he had fulfilled the life of a typical samurai: a short yet meaningful life. [4]

They say that a short yet meaning life was better than a long but meaningless one, and Souji had to agree.

It was better for him to die now...

_I guess... this was the reason why that elixir of life was burned... _

If dying early meant seeing her faster, then he, in his past life, had done the right thing.

He, too, as Emperor Mikado's current reincarnation, wanted to see her right now.

Above him, the remaining cherry blossom petal from the tree that hovered over him fell, and as soon as it fell to the bridge of his nose, Okita Souji had breathed his last.

_Kaguya…_

* * *

"… Sougo?"

The light tap on his shoulder was enough to wake him up.

Upon seeing the person who had called out to him, his eyes widened as soon as it had adjusted to the darkness. Without thinking, he had enveloped the person crouching before him in his arms.

"… You're back." He muttered, hardly believe that _she_ was in his flat, and inside his room, of all places.

He was expecting her to visit him a day or two after settling down, but now, in the middle of the night?

A chuckle. "Of course I am. Didn't I tell you in my last letter?" a light tap on his back once more, and he pulled away immediately, drinking in at the sight of her. It had been half a year since they had last seen each other, yet it felt far longer than that. It seemed as if she was still the same, with her bright sapphire-colored eyes, the playful grin, and the vermillion-colored hair that she wore in a high ponytail. She was dressed in one of those battle outfits that he was familiar with; a deep-red mandarin collar shirt and white pants, though it had looked like it went through hell, as there were patches and clumsy stitches all over it.

"Y-you did." did his voice just shook, or was it her imagination? Upon closer inspection, she did notice that his eyes looked a bit puffy.

"… Are you… crying?" she asked incredulously.

"… I had _that_ dream." He informed her. "I… I was dying, and I didn't get to see you for one last time."

Kagura turned somber. "Is that… what you were talking about… through your letters?" at his nod, she gave out a sad smile. "I can't say that 'it's just a dream'… but… I'm here."

He knew she would call him insane whenever he would mention his dreams to her, even going as far as to insinuate that she might be Princess Kaguya, but surprisingly, China had been nice about the whole thing, even asking him about it from time to time in her letters. It had calmed him whenever he would tell her about this, but the dreams did not stop.

He wondered if he was ever going to recover from this.

"I know." Sougo said it so quietly that she struggled to hear him. "I know…" He repeated.

"I… think _he_ did meet her, after all." She said. "The Emperor, I mean…"

When he said nothing, she snuggled up against him. "… If it counts… we're together now, aren't we?"

At his shocked expression, Kagura had the gall to look sheepish and had averted her gaze to the _tatami_.

"I remember. All of it. Everything… from the courtship, to the time I had to… _leave_." Her own voice betrayed her as tears began to flow down her cheeks. "I… I—"

"It's fine." He held her closer to him. "I… I understand."

"But—" before she could protest further, he placed one finger over her lips…

… and used the other hand to pull her right cheek.

"It's unlike you to be sorry, China." He said in his deadpan tone. "And it's fine. It's… really… fine." He added when she did not looked too convinced, uplifted cheek and all. "I mean it. At least… this is a start, right?"

She nodded. "Y-yeah, but can you take your hand off my cheek?"

As soon as he did, and just when she was about to get off from his lap, he had tackled her to his _futon_, making her yelp. "U-uhh… O-Okita—"

"Back to Okita?" he mocked her, unbuttoning the front strings of her top.

"W-what are you doing…?" she squeaked when he bit on her shoulder.

"I've waited for six months… and I'm planning to indulge. Plus," he licked his lips. "I think someone needs to be punished for withholding the truth. Since when did you know anyway?"

"W-when I turned sixteen, the dreams started and—" another gasp when he tore off her pants. "H-hey, those are my favorite pair…!"

"So… five years ago, huh…" the sadistic gleam in his eye said it all: he was _so_ looking forward to this night.

"W-w-what are you p-planning—" he yanked away her underwear and placed both of his hands on her inner thighs. "S-Sougo…!"

"Tonight won't be enough… guess you'll have to make it up to me your whole life." He said arrogantly.

Immediately, the tone in her voice changed. "_Hell no_." with one hard push, Okita Sougo found himself lying against the _tatami_ as the female Yato pinned his arms on his sides. "_You'll_ make it up to _me_ your whole life."

"As if you could."

"_Try me_."

They knew that tonight was not enough.

It had taken two lifetimes for them to be reunited once more, and this time around, they had to take their chance, to make sure that they would never have _any_ regrets. They have their whole lives to do so, but they knew they have to seize the chance whenever possible; the lost chances from long ago still haunted them, especially Sougo, who had, for most of his life, been waiting for her to return, as she had finally fulfilled her dream of becoming an alien hunter three years ago. From time to time, they would write letters to each other, and whenever she was in town, they would meet up, only for them to suddenly become strangers whenever it was time for her to leave.

Now that she was back for good…

Okita Sougo allowed a small smile to grace his lips as the woman before him began to take off every single piece of clothing in his body, eager to make up for missed opportunities they had, but did not dare take, as not to ruin the "relationship" that they had.

"No regrets?" he asked, referring to her quitting her occupation in favor of staying in Edo to be with the Yorozuya again.

"None." She replied before placing a kiss on his lips. "I've had enough of them in the past; I don't need more."

At her reply, he gave her his most sincere smile, making her feel flushed.

"I'm glad."

Hours later, with Kagura by his side, for the first time since he could remember, Okita Sougo had a dreamless sleep.

* * *

Notes:

[1] Kiyomizu-dera - a popular temple among the tourists in Kyoto, Japan. The original Shinsengumi were stationed in Kyoto, so it makes sense that he'd go here.

[2] Great Mountain - Mt. Fuji

[3] mere quarter of a century - historically, Okita Souji died at the age of 25.

[4] Just like the blood-soaked cherry blossoms that were scattered all over the battlefield that reeked of death, he had fulfilled the life of a typical samurai: a short yet meaningful life. - The samurai believe that the petals of the cherry blossom represented their life: at the height of its beauty, it would fall off to die. Also, during spring, cherry blossoms generally last only up to two weeks, shorter if it rains. They are very much prepared to give up their lives for their cause.

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I hope you enjoyed reading the fic! Reviews are very much appreciated.


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